Waiting
We all have to endure it at times. Some of us rather seldom, others all the time. Waiting is something making part of what, who, where and how we are. Waiting can be hell. Hell for the fear of what is to come. Just as waiting can be an extraordinary pleasure. Pleasure for what is not yet and maybe, just maybe, never will be.
Sometimes we wait because we know we have to wait. If you have a red light or stop sign ahead, you'd better stop. If you just put the De Cecco pasta in some boiling water, you'd better leave it in there as long as it needs to stay in there. But then, don't leave it too long. You'd might end up with something you really don't want to eat. So wait. Take time to wait. But be aware. Know when the waiting is over. Know when to get up, open your eyes, zip up your jacket and go.
But now I wait. I choose to wait. No signs of my waiting being over yet. Maybe because it's time to wait. Because I don't have to go yet. Because I don't want to go. I grab for a cd on the cupboard. It says 'Booka Shade'. I hesitate, but eventually I realize it's just perfect. Play!
Sometimes we wait because we know we have to wait. If you have a red light or stop sign ahead, you'd better stop. If you just put the De Cecco pasta in some boiling water, you'd better leave it in there as long as it needs to stay in there. But then, don't leave it too long. You'd might end up with something you really don't want to eat. So wait. Take time to wait. But be aware. Know when the waiting is over. Know when to get up, open your eyes, zip up your jacket and go.
But now I wait. I choose to wait. No signs of my waiting being over yet. Maybe because it's time to wait. Because I don't have to go yet. Because I don't want to go. I grab for a cd on the cupboard. It says 'Booka Shade'. I hesitate, but eventually I realize it's just perfect. Play!
5 comments:
have you read The Wind Up Bird Chronicles? Sometimes you just have to go to the bottom of a well, and wait.
Never even heard of it...but after some googleing (or how is it that you write that word?) I think I'll be reading it asap...!
When Toru went to the bottom of a dwell things became even more complicated... After some time it may not be possible to simply get up and leave. Hope you'll have that 'Japanese patience' to wait.
hmm. that is true, they did seem to become more complicated. but i would argue that they were already very complicated before he went into the well, and Toru was (comfortably) unaware of it. he sensed things here and there, but understood even this only in retrospect. ultimately, going down into the well, and waiting, was what liberated him from passive ignorance. in the darkness of the well, he opened his eyes. this is why sometimes we must wait, and endure he confusion that arises. when we are ready, the way forward does appear.
you're right. everyone needs their 'well'. he was in a way liberated, but i believe he was capable of waiting so long only because of this 'passive ignorance'. it's not, as i just realised, a very optimistic conclusion :) it turns out that those who care, cannot wait... but maybe they can wait more actively :)
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