Probeersel nr 32

Het is ondertussen maanden dat ik mezelf - bewust of onbewust - bestook met flarden van op het eerste zicht nietszeggende en willekeurig bij elkaar gebrachte woorden. Woorden die lusteloos ergens in een grijze zone van mijn bestaan ronddwalen, hopend om ontdekt of herontdekt te worden door mijn verstand dat lijkt te sputteren wanneer het erop aankomt om te snuffelen in die massa vetgedrukte letters, die bij momenten verstaanbare woorden vormen en uitzonderlijk zelfs een toevallige zin.

Misschien zweeft er wel stiekem een beetje beterschap in mijn nabijheid. Al vrees ik er eerlijk gezegd voor. Maar wie weet. Tijd geeft de kans tot oefening en oefening baart kunst. Soms zelfs letterlijk. Misschien moet ik dus beginnen bij het eerste wezenlijk bestanddeel van deze stelling en stilaan mijn agenda herorganiseren en prioriteiten herformuleren, om stil te staan bij hetgeen ooit vanzelfsprekend was en vanzelf kwam. Zonder te talmen. Zonder te moeten wachten tot dat sputterend verstand op zoek gaat naar woorden die slechts en simpelweg bijeen gebracht dienden te worden. Zonder verplichting om iets zinnigs en kunstzinnigs uit mijn vingers te moeten toveren. Maar simpelweg voor de vreugde om nietszeggende en toch bewegende gehelen van vetgedrukte letters uit te vinden voor dat miniscule deeltje van deze wereld dat er op één of andere manier een boodschap aan heeft of zou kunnen hebben. Ook al zijn dat mijn zorgen niet. Ook al is dat eerder een resultaat dan een beweegreden geweest. Maar kom, laten we ook eerlijk zijn: erkenning streelt de ziel en herkenning zorgt ervoor dat de rode lippenstift haar impressies op de wang achterlaat.

Post-materialistic view on work

It's a working day. But it doesn't particularly feel like one. I have a big meeting coming up this afternoon. But there is no stress. No stress at all. I feel completely confident. Confident that everything will work out just fine, that everything will be alright.

Maybe it's the sun, the sunglasses laying next to my laptop and the yellow t-shirt I'm wearing right now. Maybe things will change as soon as I'll change into my 'meeting-outfit'. As soon as the phone will start ringing again and my inbox will start getting stuffed with problematic e-mails again. Maybe. But just not right now. Now is the time to realize the nice side of life, even during a working day. To realize things could be different if you want and everything is about the way you look at things. We don't do that very often. All the contrary. We never do that. But starting from today I will. At least I'll try to. If only the sun would be shining every day. For me, that would be already a big help and an even bigger step forward.

What about a trip to Bucharest?

A black, new and shiny bmw m6 is waiting for the light to turn green. A dito mercedes impatiently waits just behind it. Both drivers look not older than 25, wear big shiny sunglasses and are obviously not in the need of taking an extra mortgage to keep their cars spotless and running.

No, this is not a Monte Carlo boulevard. No view over the sea and a port stuffed with extra sized yachts. All the contrary: looking over the way too shiny roofs of the cars a weird contrast pops up. It's a big building. Smoky black. Bombed. Or at least looking as if it just got bombed. Big holes in the walls, no windows. Only a huge amount of pain stored in a pile of stones. A big scar of a society still finding its way. Still looking for a new personality. With a huge way to go before it will probably find a proper balance: welcome in Bucharest.

Bucuresti (to spell it the way it should be spelled) is a city of contrasts. A city on the edge between worse and better and between past and future. It's a city balancing between extremes. It's a society of extremes. I suppose that's normal when for decades the "communist average" used the be the magical codeword towards living a happy life. It's not a city of love at first sight, like Paris, Rome or Barcelona would be. But that does not mean you should just skip it when selecting your yearly city trips.

Bucharest is majesty. It's greatness obscured by a doubtful past and an big dose of fear for evolution. For finding a proper equilibrium in that enormous potential. 'Cause that's exactly what it's all about. The first steps towards activating that potential seem to be taken. If it is the nightlife, the way of living, the friendliness of the people. But a lot of work is still to be done before the future of this city will be confirmed as a bright one. I have faith in it, but who am I. Let's hope the people living there have it too. Because the city deserves it. Because the people deserve it.



To our Sefa - it would not have been the same without you.

All apologies...

I know, I know. Shame on me.

Shame on my lack of presence. On not being present like I intended to be. Shame on my lack of time, on working more than I should and spending the rest of my time doing other things. Shame on winter and his royal greyness, on the absence of decent sunshine and on lack of colors. Shame on lack of spring, of birds with new repertoires, of sunglasses and short skirts for whoever is willing to wear them.

But it's never too late to start over again. Even when you seem to have lost the habit, to have lost the drive taking you to do certain things. It's just a matter of looking for some new sparkles providing you with the right attitude and energy to get going again. To stand up and start walking again.

So here I am. Doing what I'm supposed to be doing more often. Doing what somehow I promised I would be doing. I'll try to keep on following the sparkles again. Those I though were gone. Those I thought would not come back any time soon. And it's exactly that what gives life its everlasting beauty: the unexpected.

Hi. My name is Fabio. And it's nice to be here again.