2007 + 1

It has been some time again. But I'm still here. Still trying to write down things somebody could hopefully understand or relate to. Especially now. Especially in front of the gates of a new year. A new time. A new beginning. At least for me. It's actually more than just a new year. It's really time for new things.

But let us first salute the old . Let us first take some time to think over how it was. How it has been. How it never will be again. But I'm not afraid of change. I'm not afraid of new adventures. It's exactly that to keep me going. To make me feel to be living the way I always wanted to. Staying in a familiar surrounding can be nice. It can be indeed. But surroundings change. We change. The world changes. New surroundings are born. We are re-born.

But the Firefly is still here. And he sure will stay. Changes do not necessarily mean everything has to change. Luckily. But still. Sometimes the new just sounds better than the old. It's as simple as that. And if it's not true, allow me to just believe it is.

And what about you. Are you ready for some change? It's ok both ways. Don't worry. As long as you keep on going. As long as you keep on living. Just don't forget about that.

Summer of '97

Last time I saw most of them it was ten years ago. Last time I saw most of them it was the summer 1997. Time went by. Each of us chose a path. Each of us chose a destination. If it would be the right one did not matter. Only time would tell. And now, most of us did reach a destination. Sometimes the same as chosen initially. Sometimes a completely different one. Reached through a different path. With different means. And sometimes even with a different mentality, while becoming a new, different person.

It's 2007. Most of us got back together. Just for one night. Just for a few drinks. After ten years. To have a chat. To relive what has gone by, what once was and maybe even what could have been. Some are still the same, as if ten years did not pass. Some are still the same, but clearly ten years later. Some are different. Some became parents. Some lived ten years as if each year counted for ten. Some still have to start living those ten years.

But what it all comes down to, is to have gotten back together. To have relived the past. Just for a moment. To not forget how it was. To not forget who we were and where we come from. To get old knowing it was all worth doing the effort.

Sette

Vladi stava per arrivare. Giuseppe ed io ci eravamo messi sul balcone con pronto un secchio d'acqua da versargli addosso appena sarebbe arrivato. Ed infatti...lo scherzo, uno dei tanti, riuscì alla perfezione. Tanti ricordi di estati magiche. E alcuni di questi vivranno per sempre.

È il 1996. Fine agosto. È l'estate di Ginosa. L'estate dei sette amici. L'estate di Pablo, Francesca e Noelia. Ma anche l'estate di Cristina. È l'estate della casa della nonna di Fabio. Della chitarra ed il Millenote. Dei 'tanta voglia di lei' e le serenate. Delle penne a mezzanotte. È l'estate degli amici di Michel anche a cantare. Anche a cucinare.

A San Chirico Nuovo le prime serate fresche sono già lì. 'I sette venti', diceva sempre Michele Mucci. Di sera si esce con la maglia. Si va in giro in macchina piuttosto che farsi le passeggiate su e giù per la via principale. Si va a Tre Cancelli. Si chiacchiera. Si scherza. Ogni tanto si balla. Si ricorda. E in quel fine agosto i ricordi sono soprattutto quelli delle tre settimane appena passate sulle spiagge di Ginosa.

Lo avevamo detto tante volte. Ci avevamo pensato. I piani erano già quasi fatti. Ma a San Chirico Nuovo il cratere tra il dire ed il fare è enorme, quasi impossibile da superare. Quell'anno invece no. Deve essere successo un miracolo. Devono essere scesi sette angeli dal cielo per mettere finalmente insieme quei sette amici. Per trovargli una casa non troppo lontana dalla spiaggia. Per metterli in macchina dei genitori disposti ad accompagnarli. E per convincerli a finalmente andare oltre le chiacchiere, alla scoperta della vacanza indipendente. Alla scoperta delle ragazze. Alla scoperta dei panzerotti fritti. E alla scoperta della vita a Ginosa Marittima. E così fù. Per me, ma anche per Nicola, per i due Michele, per Samuele, per Fanelli e per Giuseppe.

Il miracolo non si sarebbe più ripetuto. E gli angeli non sarebbero più scesi dal cielo. E così negli anni a venire ogni uno di noi andò per la sua strada. Anche se si diceva che l'estate a seguire saremmo tornati. Anche se si pensava che gli angeli magari ancora sarebbero venuti. Si sapeva che semplicemente non sarebbe stato così.

E così ci ritroviamo con memorie dimenticate forse troppo in fretta. Nicola con il costume da bagno forse un pò troppo stretto. Fanelli che cerca di aggiustare il gommone senza fine, senza mai riuscirci. I due Michele incantati dalla bella Francesca. Giuseppe ed il beach volley. Samuele e l'abbronzante. E Fabio ed il letto volante.

Memorie di sempre e per sempre.
Magiche.
Da non dimenticare. Mai.

Long distance call

They met some time ago now. Flickering lights of an unexpected, but steamy party. Mutual friends. A drink or two. A few sparks, but just friends. Even if maybe good friends.

Sometimes it happens. Sometimes you meet someone you just know he or she could be a friend for life. Or even thé friend for life. But at the same time sometimes it can't happen. Because the right stars are not in place. Because you do not feel up to it due to circumstances. Because there are boy- or girlfriends involved. Because you do not want to spoil the status-quo your universe lives in. Because you want to keep that moment just as it is. With its magic. With its sparks. With its flickering lights. Because you're in a strange place far away from home or simply because she will be leaving in the morning.

What happens is that you keep in touch. World's communication technologies tend to make the world a really small one. Even for friends. Even for relationships. At least at first. As words are easily found. As memories are clear and fresh. As willingness comes from itself. But time's a bitch. Words become hard to find. Memories loose their brightness. And all willingness becomes a puddle of vagueness of a far away past.

It all ends with a quickly written birthday card. With a short message for Christmas. Or with simply nothing. Nothing but blurry memories. Of how things could have turned out differently. Of how things could have actually been. Of the girl or boy with the sparks in the eyes waiting to be caught by your own eyes. To be remembered when its too late.

What if?

Would he have said it? Would he have spoken up? To tell. To speak.
Would she have faced her worst fears? Would she have dared? To show. To reveal.

Often we wonder. Often we dream away to a world in an imaginary dimension. To a world build up by the answers of 'what if' questions. Asking ourselves what would have been is an integrating part of our way of living. It makes us wonder. It makes us imagine and dream. It makes us bitter for what could have been. Just as it could make us feel relieved for what is not. For what luckily did not occur. For what will hopefully never be.

The imaginary world is just...imaginary.
Comforting when we need comfort.
Reassuring when we are in lack of certainty.

But it helps.

It gives an excuse to wonder. And at the same time to dream. To imagine. We like to imagine. Even if we do not realize it. Imagination is inspiration. And inspiration is life. This life. This real life.

And so, at the end, also that imaginary life starts making part of - once again - that same real life.

04.17

Enter the big grey door. Go straight into the hallway. It's the first door on your left.

"04.17" has for years been a synonym for the place to be. The room where it was all about making the best of it. Of choosing the alternative approach to how things should be done. It was not only all about realizing work is just a way of being able to get the glasses filled at night, but also of realizing that it's better to do things the best possible way since things have to be done anyway. The ideal mix of only good things. And so the days went by. Work went by. Easily, stressless, but firmly, properly, completely. Just the way it should be.

But days, weeks, meetings, presentations, endless discussions on how to proceed, more meetings, tons of documents, written words making strange, at times hardly understandable sentences went by. Time went by. People went by. But not in 04.17. It all stayed the same. The way it should be.

Until.

Nothing is forever. It's the most real cliché humanity ever invented. But it's really a real one. So also 04.17 went by. We went by. Our separate ways. To spread the way it should be in other 04.17's.

Footprints

I once got a birthday card saying 'many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart'. It's a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt.

I don't even remember who gave me that card, so I suppose it's more than obvious that person did not leave particularly big footprints in my heart. Nonetheless that quote got somehow stuck in my head. Maybe because of its truth. Maybe because of it's realism. And certainly because of the way it synthesizes in a few words the whole universum of the way we interact: we meet people randomly. At work, on a train, in an airport, on the street, in some club or in a bar. With some of them we get closer: we get to know them. Starting from a name, to sometimes ending up with their beliefs, hopes, views on life and maybe even their most dark secrets.

I sometimes wonder who those footprints-leaving-people really are. And I suppose I will never know for sure. I mean, I could maybe take a guess, I could indicate some possible candidates and see if their shoe soles would match the scars I have inside, but I would never be able to be completely sure. People come, just as they might stay or simply go. Friendships are born, just as they might die. Relationships rise, just as they simply fade away.

So what about holding on? Should we? Of course we should. As long as there are footsteps at least. As long as there are scars. As long as we feel like it. And as long it is physically possible.

The bathroom window

We often tend to forget. We tend to feel the urge to travel to distant places to see things we once saw on television. Or things we just never saw before, but only heard of. We tend to get blind or be blinded. We tend to get used too much. To what we do. To what we have. To where and who we are.

So stop. Just stop. Even if it is just for a second.
Open your eyes. Look.
You might fall in love again.

And at the end of the day home could really be a sweet home.


[Picture taken from the window of my bathroom - it's as simple as that]

Bittersweet

I used to be a dreamer.
And think of the future to come.
Think of the how, who and where of life.

But that's all gone.

I used to run through open fields.
Arms wide open,
Chasing the setting sun.

But that's all gone.

I used to make plans.
Design them, shape them, even put them on paper.
I used to build and tear down again.

But that's all gone.

I used to gaze away,
Watching clouds go by,
Making utopian shapes of impossible realities.

But that's all gone.

And still.
I'm happy.

At least I think so.
At least I hope so.

Go east!

I've seen quite some places over the years. I've traveled to countries nearby and far away. I've seen beaches and mountains. I've experienced cold snow and sand too hot to walk over. But for a strange reason, I've barely visited Eastern Europe. I've visited Prague. But as a little kid. And as we all know, kids are not particularly interested in culture or history. Recently I finally decided to do something about it and after a 4 day trip to Budapest I realized I've got quite some catching up to do.

The beautiful stewardess of the late night Wizz Air flight to Budapest seemed to be the precursor of things to come. Just as the 30 degrees at arrival were. Especially if you know that the arrival was at 1 am. Mix beauty with high temperatures and a breeze of intriguing feminine perfume and a guy goes crazy. Luckily I had an Hungarian friend picking us up at the airport, to save us from getting lost.

From the beginning it was clear that Budapest is the ideal mix between culture and history. It's a city thinking and moving fast forward. Nothing 'Eastern' is left about it. People have invested and still are investing in trendyness and modernism. In life. The city's past probably has quite something to do with that attitude. Having to live under terror for decades seems to have made inhabitants of Budapest stronger, with a greater will to enjoy life. Can you blame them?

It's a city where history thus has a lot to say, so you should take your time to listen to it. The House of Terror is probably the best reminder of how things can turn out if mad people get to do their way. But it's also a city of good food and -it just has to be said- gorgeous women, making it a city to go to with friends, rather than with your girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, it's just the looks I'm referring to, one night stands and sexclubs exist -as always- rather exclusively to satisfy those British who just do not know what going on holiday means. And again, do not get me wrong: I'm not referring to all British.

Anyway, I've already been checking the latest tickets to some other countries. Poland and Romania for example. We'll see. First I'll have to survive a reality check of work, stressed colleagues and bills to be paid.